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Can He Forgive His Cheating Mate?

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Hey Ellis.

I’ve been going out with this incredible guy for about 18 months and he is absolutely *incredible*.

A little over a year ago, I went away on business for about six weeks. At the time, we had hit a bit of a rocky patch but we were able to work through it. But while we were talking the other day, my boyfriend admitted that he had hooked up with another guy while I was away.

I know it was a long time ago and our relationship is strong now, but I can’t help but feel upset and betrayed.  I love my boyfriend and want to stay together, but I just can’t seem to get past this.

What do I do?

~Feeling Cheated

Ask Ellis

Feeling Cheated:

Learning that your partner has been unfaithful can be a really devastating blow, as it destroys the trust that should stand at the core of your relationship.

Unfortunately, there’s no simple fix. Repairing and mending that trust is a process that takes time.

It’s a good sign that your boyfriend was honest and admitted his infidelity. Secrets such as this can really stand in the way of a relationship’s growth, so in this way, his admission suggests that perhaps he’s committed to moving forward.

I would focus on re-developing a sense of trust in your relationship. I’d have an honest discussion with your boyfriend and explain how you feel. If you haven’t done so already, I might also recommend discussing why he cheated. What led him to that point? When you understand how and why it occurred, you can actively work to avoid a similar situation in the future.

Ask Ellis is authored by LGBT advice columnist Ellis Keller. Click here to follow Ask Ellis on Facebook or submit your Ask Ellis question here.

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